San Sebastián

26/04/2020

 

Hallo! Guten Morgen! Wie geht’s?

“Ich bin ok, und du?”

You were born in San Sebastián just like Sergio from La Casa De Papel,

I just finished season 2 and how I thought of you!

Remember the San Sebastián day?

I was distressed and we planned my gateway,

Last year, around this time, I think in May.

 

26/05/2019

 

07:00 AM

 

It was a rough start to the day,

Hurrying up to catch the bus but,

I wanted to be a good girl and make him breakfast,

We got late and we boarded last.

 

09:30 AM

 

I planned my escape route on our way,

You see, I had to leave,

I was tired of being treated that way,

You know, it was supposed to be our day!

But, all I could think of,

How I could take the bus to Madrid and catch the flight to Hamburg later,

But, something inside stopped me and little did I say,

It was my old friend – Resistance!

You know how much I regretted every day,

Because I wasn’t able to move away.

On the coldest day of Hiroshima,

I sat on the stairs, I couldn’t drag the suitcase,

Looking at the Sun – soft yet bright,

I had lacked resistance and might.

I felt the same way again as our journey to San Sebastián began.

 

12:30 PM

 

Oh! I knew I’d stay,

Give it forever and a day,

I love him.

He could fool me all he’d want,

I would still hold his hand and walk every path all the way to San Sebastián.

I thought it was just me and all my insecurities,

I wish I had never seen that text,

San Sebastián, tell me, my lover, where to next?

 

06/01/2020

 

“Él estaba con una chica local”

Pabo’s blank stare scared me that day,

But, I understood what he said.

“Lo siento, querida!”

He blamed himself for telling me the truth for the longest time,

It’s okay we’re not together anymore, I tried to defend my pride,

Saved my lucid dreams of being his bride,

I’m sure they were laughing at me, 

I could hear them in my head,

Wondering how naïve could she really be?

Well, love’s a complicated thing,

I swear he loves me and I love him.

I wish I could save that embarrassment in front of my friends and colleagues,

But I was furious inside and I couldn’t sleep that night,

Every minute was a moment of cringe of all the paragraphs I had sent him,

After everything we had been through,

The truth was poison but the truth wasn’t new,

I’d call myself brave because I’m not afraid to say,

“Love has made me this way”

After all the terrible things were said and done,

I wish there was a way for me to return,

To our San Sebastián day.

Pabo hugged me the tightest – “tú eres mi luna y estrellas”

It was time to let go, everything was a lie.

I deleted everything with the deepest sigh.

 

10:30 PM – 26/04/2020

 

It’s funny how a place brings back so many memories,

You know, my pretty face didn’t stop him nor my love or care,

Perhaps, I just think too much of myself; Oh! How I dare!

I hope everything’s okay during this pandemic,

You are safe and there’s nothing to panic.

It’s funny how relationships fall,

I fell in love, the most tragic of them all,

Once, twice, I hope one day I’ll get it right,

But, you knew I’d stay,

I’d walk the same route with him on our San Sebastián day!

I hope things get better soon,

Take care, okay?

No, I promise, I won’t think about it much,

I bet it was all worth it for him,

I don’t have regrets as such,

This situation has taught me a lot,

I learned my lesson, falling in love scares me now,

But, I want to jump in, I want to risk it all,

It’s who I am, I’m always ready to fall.

I framed this picture on my wall,

I hope he is happy with her,

I pray for you all.