I Am Enough

Listen to the Spoken Word version of this poem

Anamika

It started with “I feel fat”
Then the spiraling happened
I don’t remember exactly when it hit me,
I wanted to make myself thinner
So I would eat paper for dinner
And soon all I could feel were just the bones in my body

…

His voice still rings into my ears,
In the middle of the night amidst my deepest fears,
“Babe, what would you change about yourself?”
I would look in the mirror and all I saw were flaws
Small breasts, thin lips,
“Do you feel your bones when you sit?” – They said.
I’m not pretty?
I’m not pretty enough for him?
I need to change.
I must look like them.
His Instagram models,
I must wear a bikini even when I’m not going for a swim,
I must dress sexy so he wouldn’t drool over the other girls,
I must be his trophy.
“I would always choose the island where the pretty girls are” – He said
I would look at lip plumping kits on Amazon,
I would google “best plastic surgeon in town”
I would do 100 squats at the gym,
But will I ever be pretty enough for him?

Angela B Spragg

I don’t want a fat daughter, cries out stepmother.
When I am in the kitchen, “Keep away from the biscuit jar,” screams out the nutter,
I am teased at school for being too thin,
My school nurse is concerned but there is no win,
Thin, Thin, Thin is all I hear,
All this noise is often hard to bare, 
A girl of twelve needs to thrive,
Not focus on food and size to strife,
Eventually, I scum to believe that thin is win,
Whilst my growing body is struggling to grow and have its fill,
I nourish my starvation by thinking thin is strong,
All around me praise my thin and it’s not wrong, 
Thin daughter I shall be to make my family proud,
If thin is win then I must carry on un-frowned,
My body is weak and my hunger is high,
I mustn’t show this weakness, or soon I will die.

Jane Moore

What did I learn I heard you say? 
I learned to love myself in the best possible way.
I learned to say “I love you” no matter what flaws I see. 
These imperfections are not a reflection of me. 
They are there to show my battle scars and the conquest I overcame. 
Through fire and brimstone, my battle was won.
For who you see standing right before you is a woman that was once broken and had no love or faith in herself. 
But, once she broke out of the chains that bound her, she learned to fly like a beautiful dove. 
She has let the winds carry her way up above and has she soared higher towards the clouds. The shroud of low self-esteem and self-hatred simply melted and faded away into the distance never to be seen or heard. Just simply gone away.
I am that woman today, who broke free,
I don’t need your validation, I keep my chin up,
Whatever you may think, I am and will be enough!