A question I ask myself often these days.
I ponder, I wonder, I sit idle.
I shed tears every now and then,
Even though I know, all my tears are in vain.
I’ve never done wrong to anyone,
I’ve never wished anyone bad.
Yes, I’ve had my moments where I wasn’t very graceful but I have feelings,
They were hurt,
I was angry and sad and disappointed because I had loved,
I had loved the people who hurt me,
But why me?
Why does it have to be me?
If things went right, I would have been in a different place,
If we were right, I’d have my little family,
Our little one but he wasn’t who I thought he was and I was wrong,
But, I was moving on, I was being strong,
So why me?
Why am I always the one to bear the pain?
Why can I not be happy?
Just for once, for God’s sake, I deserve it,
I deserve to be happy,
I deserve to be loved.
Can someone please tell me, why is it always me?
I’ve been trying to figure it out since I was born.
I’ve always done it right,
Played by the rules,
Loved with all my heart,
Yet I was made a fool.
It’s me; it’s always me!
I guess I’m just too easy to mold,
All the things I’ve been told,
All the lies I had to hold,
All the people who were cold…to me.
For once, I want to have what everyone does,
I don’t want to be the unlucky one,
I want to feel wanted,
I want to feel chosen,
Just for once, I don’t want to wake up asking myself “why me?”
I want to embrace it all and just…be.